


Drafts

by orphan_account



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Break Up, Divorce, M/M, Marriage, Mentions of Suicidal Thoughts, Possibly Unrequited Love, Post-Break Up, Some Humor, Texting, and other times hes like "pls get divorced lol", and then tsukki realized he gon don fucked up, but this lil bitch cant even send him a text lmao what, he uses lol ironically pls dont hurt me, idk - Freeform, so hes trying to figure out how to win yama back, sometimes tsukkis texts are rly sad and u wanna cry, tsukki n yama dated through out hs and up until like their final year of uni
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-03
Updated: 2017-08-05
Packaged: 2018-12-10 10:42:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 35
Words: 3,726
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11689962
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: The unsent text messages of Tsukishima Kei to Yamaguchi Tadashi





	1. he saw you today

**tsukki** : im sorry

 **tsukki** : i saw you across campus today

 **tsukki** : i miss you


	2. he saw you with someone he knew

**tsukki** : hey was that oikawa?

 **tsukki** : were you with oikawa from aoba josai just now?

 **tsukki:** was that seijohs ex captain?

 **tsukki** : why was oikawa tooru kissing you?

 **tsukki** : i wish i could kiss you again

 **tsukki** : i wish i hadnt sent you away that night

 **tsukki** : i heard rumors about you dating oikawa tooru? is that true?

 **tsukki** : why were you kissing oikawa tooru?


	3. he saw you on the bus today

**tsukki** : youre beautiful

 

**tsukki** : im so scared to talk to you again

 

**tsukki** : how the fuck do i talk to you

 

**tsukki** : i miss you

 

**tsukki** : do you want to meet up sometime?

 

**tsukki** : hey can we talk sometime?

 

**tsukki** : im sorry

 

**tsukki** : i really really miss you

 

**tsukki** : we had to sit near each other on the bus today. you smiled at me and i ignored you. im sorry

 

**tsukki** : i wish i had spoken to you today

 

**tsukki:** can u like learn how to read thoughts so u can hear me think abt how madly fucking in love i am with u because words ?? no ??

 

**tsukki** : i love you


	4. he saw you at the party last night

**tsukki** : hey i saw you at kuroos party last night? i dont think you saw me

 

**tsukki** : kuroo told me you were at his party last night? i was there, too

 

**tsukki** : so we were at the same party last night? i didnt even see you

 

**tsukki** : haha wow i heard we were at the same party lol i hope you didnt see me because i was probably a drunk mess on the floor and crying about u lol

 

**tsukki** : i miss you

 

**tsukki** : i miss you and i dont know what to do about it

 

**tsukki** : where the fuck do you get the right to have on fucking eyeliner and come to the same party as much youre ruining my life jshhsjshj im in love with you fhdshjss die

 

**tsukki** : either still love me or dont ever let me see you again because i wanna cry everytime i think i see you lmao


	5. he saw you with someone he trusted

**tsukki** : suga? you hooked up with our exsenpai?

**tsukki** : you stare right through me, please dont do this

**tsukki** : im upset but not at you im mad at myself im so sorry

**tsukki** : im sorry for everything 

**tsukki** : are you dating suga san?

**tsukki** : i saw you grinding on our exsenpai lol get some im a fucking mess because im in love with you but gj yama

**tsukki** : i hope the condom breaks shsjhjshjhs

**tsukki** : i cant stop crying im sorry im mad i miss you


	6. he saw you sitting alone

**tsukki** : i saw you sitting in that cafe two streets over from the library today. the one where hinata and kageyama used to have all their dates. you were by yourself and you were wearing the black turtle neck sweater i gave you three christmases ago and you were so beautiful i wanted to go in and sit with you and apologize over and over but i was so scared

 

 **tsukki** : im sorry

 

 **tsukki:** why cant i just hit send

 

 **tsukki** : im sorry

 

 **tsukki** : if i were able to say it, would you even accept my apology?  
  



	7. he saw you with someone new

**tsukki** : i saw you holding hands with someone today, i heard thats your boyfriend

 

 **tsukki** : kuroo san told me you and his friend are going out. kozume right?

 

 **tsukki:** kuroo said youre dating kozume

 

 **tsukki** : please please dont do this im still in love with you its been almost a year but i am im sorry

 

 **tsukki** : congrats on kozume. i remember him from training camps.

 

 **tsukki** : i never thought kozume to be your type

 

 **tsukki** : is this even still your number?

 

 **tsukki** : what is with you and setters lately ?? oikawa, sugawara, kozume

 

 **tsukki** : lol maybe if i were a setter we'd of worked out


	8. he saw you at graduation

**tsukki** : hinata said you wanted to talk

 

 **tsukki** : shouyou mentioned you were looking to to talk

 

 **tsukki** : please tell me shouyou wasnt lying please talk to me again

 

 **tsukki** : happy graduation 

 

 **tsukki** : lmao idk if you can see me but if u cant dont mind my t e a r s

 

 **tsukki** : i just saw you kissing kozume time to die bye

 

 **tsukki** : why the fuck do you want to talk

 

 **tsukki** : its over. you have kozume. im in love with you. i cant just be friends with you. dont do this to me.


	9. he saw it was your birthday

**tsukki** : happy birthday

 

 **tsukki** : hbd totally do not have this committed to memory this was facebooks doing

 

 **tsukki** : why are we still friends on facebook sjhsjsj h

 

 **tsukki** : saw the party it looked like fun

 

 **tsukki** : i heard your party was fun

 

 **tsukki** : am i slightly offended i wasnt invited to your party? yes. was i going to go? no. not the point

 

 **tsukki** : i was at the store and saw something you might have liked, maybe as a birthday present

 

 **tsukki** : i might have bought you a birthday present think nothing of it shouyou can give it you for me

 

 **tsukki** : hey Bro i have a total platonic Bro birthday present to give you as a Bro and i was wondering if you, my Bro, wanted the Brothday present?

 

 **tsukki** : ill pawn it off to tobio he probs forgot anyways sjhsjshjhs dw you'll still get the Tsukki Gift


	10. he saw a year and a half has passed

**tsukki** : shouyou told me you moved in near by, maybe we could talk sometime

 

 **tsukki** : hey i heard you live close by

 

 **tsukki** : remember when we all ganged up on ukai to get him to stop smoking cause that is Nasty and he literally called us all our first year of uni and was like "i saw you  kids weren't here and i didnt even think about it. almost two years clean" i was almost two years clean from trying to text you jhsjsjs

 

 **tsukki** : you moved in like THREE BLOCKS AWAY FROM ME ? I WANT TO DIE? IM FUCKING IN LOVE WITH YOU

 

 **tsukki** : tobio told me you know i live near here are you doing thi s to fuck with me ohmygod GET FUCKED by ur fucking BOYFRIEND

 

 **tsukki** : i guess this means i need a new grocery store sjhsjhs ACROSS TOWN YOU ASSHOLE

 

 **tsukki** : can we talk sometime?

 

 **tsukki** : i miss you

 

 **tsukki** : i miss you

 

 **tsukki** : i miss you

 

 **tsukki** : i miss you

 

 **tsukki** : i miss you tadashi


	11. he saw you got engaged

**tsukki** : youre engaged

 

 **tsukki** : congrats

 

 **tsukki** : i heard about you and kozume, he's lucky

 

 **tsukki** : tobio told me youre getting married, he said you were thinking of inviting me

 

 **tsukki** : whooooa Bro hear you, my Bro, got engaged to a Bro, Congrats Bro

 

 **tsukki** : tobio called me today, he said kozume proposed. he mentioned you were planning on sending me an invite?

 

 **tsukki** : i dont want to come to wedding please dont ask

 

 **tsukki** : if u invite me to this wedding i am legally obligated in most parts of the world to kill you where you stand

 

 **tsukki** : IF IT WERE NOT FOR THE LAWS OF THIS LAND I WOULD SLAUGHTER YOU FOR CONSIDERING ME, YOUR FUCKING EX, TO BE INVITED TO YOUR WEDDING

 

 **tsukki** : wow haha ;) if i knew haha ;) that ;) you wanted me jealous ;) i would have ;) haha ;) shown up ;) to ur fuckign house and confessed that im still in love wiht you pls im dying

 

 **tsukki** : youre getting married and im still in love with you and you want to be friends again but i cant do that tadashi im sorry im so sorry 


	12. he saw a wedding invitation in the mail

**tsukki** : i got the invite, ill try to come

 

 **tsukki** : hey you wanted me to rsvp?

 

 **tsukki** : sorry my cats birthday is on the day of your wedding ://

 

 **tsukki** : somethings came up, im not sure if ill make your and kozumes wedding

 

 **tsukki** : i cant come to wedding

 

 **tsukki** : why would you invite me to your wedding?

 

 **tsukki** : i dont think ill be at the wedding

 

 **tsukki** : i cant come to your wedding

 

 **tsukki** : you asshole you actually did it. tobio said not to. shouyou said not to. hitoka said not to. anyone that knows me and knows you SAID NOT TO SEND ME A FUCKING INVITE AND I HAVENT STOPPED CRYING SINCE I SAW YOUR FUCKING H AN D  W RI T I NG THREE HOURS AGO BECAUSE I AM ASSHOLE BECAUSE IM PATHETICALLY IN LOVE WITH YOU AND I WANT YOU BACK SO BAD AND MAYBE IM BUILDING YOU UP MAYBE IF WE SAT DOWN FOR SOME FUCKING COFFEE ID THINK "HUH NO IM FINE" BUT I CANT EVEN HIT FUCKING SEND ON A TEXT MESSAGE TO EVEN SAY HELLO I HAVENT SPOKEN TO YOU SINCE WE FOUGHT SINCE YOU FUCKING POURED YOUR HEART OUT SINCE YOU TOLD ME YOU WANTED TO MARRY ME BUT IM AN ASSHOLE THAT COULDNT EVEN IMAGINE LIVING ANOTHER YEAR AND WE FOUGHT AND FOUGHT AND WE BROKE UP AND I MISS YOU SO DAMN MUCH AND I THINK THE ONLY REASON I HAVENT FUCKING KILLED MYSELF IF BECAUSE I STILL DREAM OF YOUR FUCKING EYES LIKE A FUCKING SAPPY SUICIDAL GAY IDIOT

 

 **tsukki** : im so in love with you after fucking like three years fuck i miss you so much i love you

 

 **tsukki** : i cant come to the wedding


	13. he saw wedding pictures

**tsukki** : shouyou showed me pictures of the wedding, you look so happy

 

 **tsukki** : saw the wedding pictures, it looked lovely

 

 **tsukki** : i saw the wedding pictures, sorry i wasnt able to come. it looked wonderful.

 

 **tsukki** : get divorced and marry me ill be at that wedding promise

 

 **tsukki** : sorry i couldnt come to the wedding, im sure it was beautiful

 

 **tsukki** : i miss you 

 

 **tsukki** : i saw the pictures you looked so beautiful

 

 **tsukki** : you really have no idea what you do to me and its killing me

 


	14. he saw it was christmas

**tsukki** : merry christmas

 

 **tsukki** : i kept seeing stuff i knew you would like

 

 **tsukki** : i didnt buy anything for you this christmas im sorry tobio said you liked the birthday present but didnt tell you i bought it and i just cant do that again?

 

 **tsukki** : this is my first christmas without you i just realized

 

 **tsukki** : maybe santa will bring me some Yama Love for christmas lmao

 

 **tsukki** : i saw on fucking instagram you posted pictures of your and kozumes cats dressed in fucking cat christmas sweaters

 

 **tsukki** : on the dl i wanna hate you so bad tadashi

 

 **tsukki** : when we broke up, i said i couldnt see a future with you i didnt mean it

 

 **tsukki** : hey so when we broke up and i said i couldnt see the future with you i meant i was fucking suicidal and i wanted to die and i couldnt put that shit on you

 

 **tsukki** : if i had the chance to go back to you when we broke up, you know i would right?

 

 **tsukki** : youre married and im in love with you and its been almost three years since ive spoken to you and i cant physically say your name without choking im so pathetic please please dont do this to me anymore i need thsi to fucking stop


	15. he saw an empty resolutions list

**tsukki** : i was on the phone with hitoka and she asked about my new years resolutions and i dont have any. thoughts?

 

 **tsukki** : my new years resolution list: get the fuck over yamaguchi tadashi

 

 **tsukki** : happy new years

 

 **tsukki** : shouyou and tobio are having a new years party and they kept saying they really want me there but they invited you and like ?? w h y ?

 

 **tsukki** : i cant ask my friends to ignore you or your husband, i cant ask them to pretend like they dont know you for me, but i cant let them do this to me

 

 **tsukki** : i saw you in the fucking grocery store, no kozume in sight, just you and you were shopping and i was too and i just turned and walked the fuck out of the store and nearly had a mental fucking breakdown i hate myself i hate myself youre a person you are a person that i love but i cant even look at you because it fucking hurts tadashi

 

 **tsukki** : tobio says you dont call me kei anymore

 

 **tsukki** : tobio says you dont call me tsukki anymore

 

 **tsukki** : tobio says you call me tsukishima now

 

 **tsukki** : tadashi please dont forget me. please dont pretend i was the guy you dated in college and nothing more you were so so much to me you still are you are all i think about lately because it fucking hurts

 

 **tsukki** : i lost my family to be with you. you were my family. and then i fucking lost you too.

 

 **tsukki** : i want to hate you so bad

 

 **tsukki** : its cold tonight. remember to bundle up.

 

 **tsukki** : my resolution is to stop thinking about you


	16. he saw two friends getting engaged

**tsukki** : im sorry i didnt talk to you last night

 

 **tsukki** : about shouyous and tobios, sorry i didnt have a chance to say hello

 

 **tsukki** : hey lowkey i was avoiding you at that party but dont take it to heart

 

 **tsukki** : i nearly snapped tobios fucking neck he didnt tell me youd be at the engagement party

 

 **tsukki** : its been six months since i tried this pathetic 'todays the day i text tadashi um nvm' n like i see you last night and now i wanna puke

 

 **tsukki** : i miss you

 

 **tsukki** : i miss you

 

 **tsukki** : i really fucking miss you


	17. he saw an invitation

**tsukki** : my morning started off by shouyou mailing me an invite + a note just to tell me "yamaguchi is gonna be at the wedding please still come"

 

 **tsukki** : yknow ever since we stopped talking tobio and shouyou have been my best friends lmao who would of thought sjhsjhs i cant not come to my two best friends wedding but my ex that im still madly in love with is coming with his husband so im gonna die ok

 

 **tsukki** : im going to shouyous and tobios wedding and i cant ask you not to come but please dont come

 

 **tsukki** : im gonna be at tobios and shouyous wedding can you pretend i wont be and ignore me the whole time and legit just make sure i dont see you and have a fucking panic attack while they say their fucking vows


	18. he saw it rained

**tsukki** : it rained this morning and i thought of when you first kissed me

 

 **tsukki** : god i miss kissing you

 

 


	19. he saw another birthday pass

**tsukki** : happy birthday

 

 **tsukki** : i hope your birthday with kozume is great

 

 **tsukki** : i miss you

 

 **tsukki** : i hope your birthday is everything you hope

 

 **tsukki** : i miss you


	20. he saw you window shopping

**tsukki** : merry christmas. im a few days early.

 

 **tsukki** : merry christmas

 

 **tsukki** : i saw you christmas shopping last night, weird seeing you

 

 **tsukki** : i miss you

 

 **tsukki** : i miss you


	21. he saw it was a month away

**tsukki** : shouyous and tobios wedding next month, im coming

 

 **tsukki** : my date to shouyous and tobios wedding is thinking carpool, you and kozume want in?

 

 **tsukki** : so kuroo and i are going to shouyous and tobios wedding together

 

 **tsukki** : hey do you think you could get a divorce? because im in love with you and kuroo is kind of in love with kozume so it would really just work out if you guys ended it lol

 

 **tsukki** : are you going to shouyou and tobios wedding?

 

 **tsukki** : if i avoid you at the wedding, dont take it to heart, i just cant see you now

 

 **tsukki** : i dont know if i can even look at you


	22. he saw you at their wedding

**tsukki** : im by the entrance, if you wanted to say hi

 

 **tsukki** : hey i heard youre here too, where are you?

 

 **tsukki** : i just saw you and i couldnt breathe

 

 **tsukki** : you and kozume and just came up to kuroo and i and you didnt even look at me im going to puke

 

 **tsukki** : you look beautiful

 

 **tsukki** : i couldnt focus on tobio or shouyou you were radiant

 

 **tsukki** : kozume doesnt deserve you

 

 **tsukki** : kuroo and i are having drinks with bokuto, join us? over by the bar

 

 **tsukki** : tadashi i miss u

 

 **tsukki:** i miss you

 

 **tsukki** : i miss you

 

 **tsukki** : i miss yuo

 

 **tsukki** : i miss youu

 

 **tsukki** : i can;t sotp cryign

 

 **tsukki** : kuroo is taikng me hmeo

 

 **tsukki** : eevn drunk i cant fukcign hit sendd fuck

 

 **tsukki** : i can"t stop thinking abiut ypu

 

 **tsukki** : gonan fukck kuroo beacuse i wnat to gte u off my mimd

 

 **tsukki** : god if tjat omly workef the furst five timmes he amd i fuvked lol


	23. he saw 11:11

**tsukki** : g o d remember when i actually thought i could forget about you

 

 **tsukki** : your anniversary is coming up congrats

 

 **tsukki** : congratulations about the anniversary with kozume

 

 **tsukki** : 11:11 make a wish

 

 **tsukki** : you


	24. he saw your husband

**tsukki** : i think kozume is cheating on you

 

 **tsukki** : i thought i saw kozume leave kuroos apartment this morning, is everything okay?

 

 **tsukki** : are you and kozume alright?

 

 **tsukki** : i think ur hubby is getting dicked by his best friend

 

 **tsukki** : hey, is everything with you and kozume okay?

 

 **tsukki** : Tadashi?

 


	25. he saw you through a frosty train window

**tsukki** : did i just see you crying on the train?

 

 **tsukki** : tadashi are you okay?

 

 **tsukki** : did something happen with kozume?

 

 **tsukki** : are you alright?

 

 **tsukki** : tadashi?


	26. he saw a rumor of divorce

**tsukki** : shouyou said you and kozume havent lived together since his and tobios wedding?

 

 **tsukki** : did something happen at shouyou and tobios wedding?

 

 **tsukki** : you and kozume are over?

 

 **tsukki** : i heard you and kozume broke up?

 

 **tsukki** : a divorce is being finalized for you and kozume?

 

 **tsukki** : youre getting divorced?

 

 **tsukki** : i heard youre getting divorced?

 

 **tsukki** : hey, shouyou told me about a divorce?

 

 **tsukki** : are you okay?

 

 **tsukki** : tadashi, do you want to talk?


	27. he saw your ex with someone new

**tsukki** : kuroo and kozume are together now, are you okay?

 

 **tsukki** : you hear about kozume and kuroo?

 

 **tsukki** : i saw kozume and kuroo today. they seem happy.

 

 **tsukki** : so... you got divorced?

 

 **tsukki** : can we talk please


	28. he saw why it ended

**tsukki** : you cant do that

 

 **tsukki** : you cant not speak to me for years, get married, and get divorced because you saw me at their wedding

 

 **tsukki** : you havent even tried to speak to me

 

 **tsukki** : its been four fucking years

 

 **tsukki** : you got married, you got fucking married

 

 **tsukki** : asshole

 

 **tsukki** : youre not scared to talk to me, are you?

 

 **tsukki** : why would you ever be scared?

 

 **tsukki** : i hate you

 

 **tsukki** : you cant do this. not now.

 

 **tsukki** : you got married, you had all this time. everything is a fucking mess

 

 **tsukki** : i hate you

 

 **tsukki** : i hate you

 

 **tsukki** : dick

 

 **tsukki** : fuck you

 

 **tsukki** : its been four god damn years tadashi

 

 **tsukki** : i miss you

 

 **tsukki** : tadashi, can we talk?


	29. he saw you were still single

**tsukki** : hi

 

 **tsukki** : coffee?

 


	30. he saw you were asking about him

**tsukki** : tobio told me youve been asking for me?

 

 **tsukki** : i want to see you

 

 **tsukki** : i heard you were looking to see me?

 

 **tsukki** : i want to see you

 

 **tsukki** : how have you been fairing after kozume?

 

 **tsukki** : so you heard about kozume and kuroos engagement? i heard you actually gave kuroo your blessing 

 

 **tsukki** : please still love me

 

 **tsukki** : i miss you


	31. he saw you still loved him

**tsukki** : i miss you 

 

 **tsukki** : can we talk?

 

 **tsukki** : hitoka told me you said you still loved me please dont tell me she was lying

 

 **tsukki** : do you still love me?

 

 **tsukki** : are you in love with me?


	32. he saw half a year passed

**tsukki** : hi

 

 **tsukki** : hey so i really want to see you

 

 **tsukki** : you're single, im single. im in love with you, you might be in love with me. its simple math. drinks?

 

 **tsukki** : can we meet up?

 

 **tsukki** : i saw you at the grocery store today. i hid in the bathroom cause you were beautiful and i couldnt speak to you

 

 **tsukki** : tfw u hear the love of ur life might be in love w u n u cant even try to text him for six months


	33. he saw you had a date

**tsukki** : hitoka said you had a date tonight

  
 **tsukki** : im glad to hear youre doing okay after kozume

  
 **tsukki** : i really wish your date tonight had been with me lol

  
 **tsukki** : ill just make 50 different tinder accounts and hope to god you match with one of them and sneak up and be like "im ur blind date lol" cause that isnt weird at all

  
 **tsukki** : my dating life is shit probably because i read too much bts fanfiction

  
 **tsukki** : i miss you so damn much

  
 **tsukki** : i hope ur date went well <3

  
 **tsukki** : wanna get drinks sometime?

  
 **tsukki** : hey lets go on a date

  
 **tsukki** : hey i really really want to see you

  
 **tsukki** : tadashi?


	34. he saw youve been the same

**yama** : hi

  
 **yama** : hey

  
 **yama** : this is stupid, we havent spoken in a really long time, but i really really need to see you

  
 **yama** : i know you heard that kenma and i decided on divorce shortly after shouyous and tobios wedding and i have to tell you that youve been on my mind since their engagement party

  
 **yama** : i know you think im an awful person because of what i did to kenma but i loved him, i did, but we werent meant for each other like that and we didnt see that

  
 **yama** : can i see you?

  
 **yama** : i want to see you. i want to see you so badly.

  
 **yama** : hey, its been awhile

  
 **yama** : shouyou told me you cried when i sent you the invitation im so sorry

  
 **yama** : tsukki i really miss you  
  
  
 **yama** : back in university, when we broke up, what you said to me hurt me. i was mad and we fought and i hurt you and i didnt understand then that you didnt mean to have any of this happen. im sorry. i broke up with you because i was mad and hurt, but not because i stopped loving you 

**yama** : i love you, tsukki

 **yama** : kei i still love you

  
 **yama** : h e y so im outside your apartment building?  
  
  
 **yama** : what if i told you i was in your buildings lobby and really wanted to see you?

  
 **yama** : can we talk?

  
 **yama** : y e e t im walking up the stairs to ur apartment

  
 **yama** : god fucking hell this is really weird but im in your apartment hallway and i really really need to see you i need to talk to you

  
 **yama** : guess whos outside your front door?

  
 **yama** : im standing outside your apartment and im gonna puke oh fuq

  
 **yama** : texting is dumb i shouldnt tell you to come outside over text sjhsjhs

  
 **yama** : if i told you i was standing outside your apartment would you, like, punch me in the face?

  
 **yama** : tsukki?

  
 **yama** : im just gonna knock on your front door and see what you do 


	35. he saw you today

"Hi Tsukki.”

"Tadashi... Hey.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! Thank you for reading this ! I hope you enjoyed it <3 
> 
>  
> 
> Shameless promo, but I mainly write Haikyuu/bts fics so if you like either of those fandoms then feel free to browse through my account :) 
> 
> *coughs* * fucking chokes*  
> Im writing a s u p e r angsty bts thing watch urself if u thought this was at **all** sad then oh boy
> 
> ~Leah


End file.
